46% FEV1 was the verdict, after I huffed my heart out during my pulmonary function test. Maybe I'm just too much of an overachiever at heart, but I always hope for higher numbers. Still, I felt mostly content with these results because I know that it can always be worse. My daily health regimen has been like a respiratory bootcamp, consisting of 2 hours of manual hand-clapping on my chest by a respiratory therapist, 5 breathing treatments, an hour of exercise with Aiden (my fuzzy son), 40 minutes of Vesting, and frequently using my G5 Percussor for airway clearance. One would hope that after constantly coughing and moving the goodies out, the mucus would eventually hold up the white flag and surrender. But, after 28 years of fighting Cystic Fibrosis, I've learned that my arch-nemesis is relentless!
Recently, I was honored and humbled by the opportunity to share my personal story living with Cystic Fibrosis at a Sequenom conference. During the Q&A session after my speech, an audience member asked, "Where do you find the time to do other activities besides your health?" I explained that it's a big challenge to find balance throughout the day. The doctors ask a lot from Cystic Fibrosis patients, and our daily health regimen is extremely involved as a result. Nevertheless, Cystic Fibrosis is what I have; it's not who I am.
Another question that an audience member asked, "Do you think your lung function will ever improve?" My answer wasn't complicated, but is somewhat difficult to explain. I often find myself clinging to hope. I've been told that my lungs are damaged by mucus which continues to clog my airways, and that I cannot mend what the mucus has destroyed over the years. This mucus has managed to create holes in my lungs, destroying the cilia in my airways and causing my airflow to be diminished. The picture that has been painted in my mind is that my lungs are like a wasteland - damaged and scarred. This is a haunting image, to be sure, but I find comfort in knowing that, even in the darkest of places, light can exist. Even in the harshest environments, life can flourish. And even from the cracks in the pavement, a flower can bloom. I think it's important to always remember that.
