Seeker Of Truth

“I have been a seeker and still am, but I stopped asking the books and the stars. I started listening to the teaching of my soul.” ~Rumi

Never stop asking questions. Optimistically thinking, I never want to say that the intravenous antibiotics are not working. I’ve been waiting patiently for that moment where I wake up and feel better, but it just hasn’t happened yet. I’ve always had my own theory when it comes to superbugs in the lungs, that there is more than what meets the eye. And I’ve often used an analogy to explain my theory. You see, if you were to take a narrow flower pot, fill it with dirt, a little bit of water, and place the pot in a warm, dark area, what wouldn’t grow in the flower pot? I’ve always believed that CF patients grow more than what shows in the Petri dish. I stopped believing in Petri dishes a long time ago. The pseudomonas that is so prevalent in our lungs, forms a biofilm-like blanket that hinders the ability to see anything else that may be growing underneath all the mess. Scientists have started to dissect the lungs of patients with CF, after they have passed away, and are finding that they grew fungus, mold, staph, and other microorganisms that did not show in the Petri dish, which confirms my belief. The petri dish is little more than a GPS, in the grand scheme of things. It’s disheartening to know that these petri dishes can be deceiving - that there is more to find than what meets the eye. Especially, when these bugs cause irreversible lung damage and death. If only I could put a tent over my lungs and fumigate my bugs to rid the infectious chaos. I do hours and hours of chest physiotherapy and breathing treatments. However, if the infection still exists, the bugs will only grow bigger and meaner, which will cause more damage over time which will result in lung failure. If only we could get to the ROOT of the problem.

After being on intravenous Colistin and Minocycline every 12 hours as well as Cefepime every 8 hours for over a month, and not feeling better, I needed to know the new game plan. My doctors nurse explained that she was calling in to the pharmacy oral Minocycline and intravenous Ceftazidime. My gut feeling felt as though that wasn’t going to be enough to help me feel better. I knew I needed to be my own advocate and speak up. I didn’t want to take a step backwards and my gut feeling was that I needed to be on three antibiotics to kick this thing to the curb. Thank goodness I spoke up because when my doctor called me she pulled up my recent sputum culture and found the reason I wasn’t feeling better. I was growing a bug that did not show in the Petri dish before. I did in fact need to be on three different antibiotics to help to irradiate this bug. Ah-ha! This could be the needle that has been spoiling the haystack! I’m excited to start intravenous Zithromycin, Rifampin, and Ceftazidime. Plus, Ethambutol, an oral antibiotic for a tag team combo that could get me up and running again. Feeling hopeful and optimistic as always!

Always trust your intuition. Keep searching, keep asking questions, keep thinking and seeking your own truth. The doors are opening..and you will never be given more than you can handle. I decided years ago, that I have three choices in life. Give up, give in, or give it all I’ve got. I refuse to accept the reality I was given, I much rather create my own.